the big day || moving 3.0

last day of exams was a blessing.

I know, I did it again, whoops. In less than two months I found myself packing up and leaving my home with two people (that I really didn't know) and moving into a home with two friends. Male friends. Now in these past two months I've shockingly learnt a lot more that what I ever could have imagined. 2.0 was all about how far I had come, with my friends and my partner who had helped me reach the point I had reached. It was a post about how thankful I was for absolute every opportunity I had been given and I'll admit I cried whilst writing it. Two months on life is a little different. I still have the same friends and the same partner and I'm still so grateful for them, my love goes out to them wholeheartedly but now I have to admit my feelings are a little different for life as a whole.

I've relapsed in my depression. Most of this year has been such a whirlwind; there's been my big move, my unstable employment status, my first serious relationship, new friends, university and so many other seemingly impossible factors that have shaped my 2016. I haven't had a chance to sit down and take everything in, with the end of this year drawing to a close though I've found time and it honestly hasn't been pretty. I've cried a lot, had a few breakdowns. So this year has been hard, really hard and moving 3.0 was going to be a fresh start for me.

I quit my job. It was making me unhappy. The environment set me on edge, management was chaotic and disorganised and I couldn't stand it. The same day I quit a position fell into my lap and although it's christmas casual I'm hoping it'll become at least casual at the end of it. If not there has to be other jobs somewhere else in this city. This semester at university passed by in an awful blur that I couldn't get on top of. 2016 was such a strange year for me. I became an "adult". I learnt things I've never really been able to learn living at home, I realised just how terrible grocery shopping is and the fact that you can stretch $20 out for a week. I now know that getting drunk can only make you feel good for so long, I realise that life is fleeting and that every moment you can you should be doing something you love.

Moving 2.0 was about how far I've come and looking back I'm so proud of myself. 3.0 is about a fresh start. Coming clean with myself about my lack of self-care, my toxic relationship with myself. 3.0 is about me and it's about the fact that no one can function without proper love for yourself. So here's a cheers to the me that I'm going to become, here's to moving 3.0 (and me 3.0)

Chloe, xo.